So, my last post was a little strange in that it wasn’t meticulously planned and researched, carefully written over several hours as I check everything I write, as all my other posts are. It was a sort of gut reaction of several changing feelings all in close succession.
I was stoked to get a grant, truly. Then I read Rebecca Watson’s post and went through some mixed feelings, (like “Oh, do I still want to go then?”) But one of the most prominent feelings was frustration with myself. Chatting with my good friend Gudrun on a Sunday hike about it, she said she only just realized that I never actually speak up when we feminist stuff comes up (when I do about most other topics), and it’s true. The reason, I said, is I’m sensible enough to know when I don’t know enough about a topic to comment on it. It’s one of those topics I’ve avoided, like politics, and especially economics, which I don’t think I ever have a hope of understanding.
But, that’s not to say I don’t get interested and bristle when certain things come up. For example the CBC’s decision to run “While The Men Watch” commentary alongside the Stanley Cup Finals is crazy, and I think the new Lingerie Football League is pretty gross, and seriously sad when women can’t just be appreciated for their athletic talent. But I don’t really know the issues. And yet, I’m supposed to be this forward-thinking, critical, logical, modern woman. Going to TAM, where there is a big controversy. Shouldn’t I have an opinion?
I hope this explains a little of my last post! Since then, I’ve had a few basic conversations, for example what exactly constitutes harassment (for which my friend Jen had an excellent 2 cents: that it’s not even necessarily the intention, as some men don’t even realize what they’re doing, but that it’s something so institutionalized that most of the time we don’t even pay attention to it – but education is important to stamp it out). I’ve also read more about the background and motives for Rebecca pulling out of TAM (though I understood pulling out of this year’s meeting at the start, pulling all support was a cause of initial confusion).
But it will take a long time to learn. I hope that other ladies at TAM will engage me and help me out even though I still say things that could be considered extremely ignorant.
Now, my last post may not have seemed all that contentious to some of you, but as some extra context, I’m posting here a conversation that occurred on my facebook wall after I linked to the last blog post. I’m just going to put it here in its entirety, with no further comment, make of it what you will.